Bule Gadungan

Di suatu Cafe di Jakarta dimana sedang ada pertunjukkan piano live,
Kokom begitu terpesonanya dengan permainan Lowra, seorang pianist
dari Austria. Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia berteriak, "Not a play! Not a
play!" Lowra bengong. "Not a play?"
"Yes. Not a play. Bukan main." Bug yang menemani Kokom terperangah.
"Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Kokom."
"Your granny (Mbahmu). Humanly I have checked my dictionary kok. (Wong
aku sudah periksa di kamus kok)", Kokom mbantah.
Lalu berpaling ke Lowra, "Lady, let's corner (Mojok yuk). But please
don't think that not not (Jangan berpikir yang bukan-bukan). I just
want a meal (ngemil)".
"Haphazardly you, Kokom...(Sembarangan kamu, No)"
Bug tambah gemes, "New know kok have asked for eating (Baru kenal
kok sudah ngajak makan)"
"Don't be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Man. Be wrong a little is OK
toch? (Salah titik ra po-po, toh). Important is brave (Sing penting
wani, gitu loh...)"
Lowra cuma senyum kecil, "I would love to, but ..."
Bug merengut, "Don't want sister" (Jangan mau mBak) katanya pada
Lowra. "You are broken towel, don't trust..." (Sampeyan digombali, ojo
percoyo)
"Sorry! if my friend made you are not delicious (Maaf kalau teman
saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)" sambut Bug ramah.
"That' s OK. Different river, maybe (Lain kali, barangkali). I don't
push up (Saya nggak maksa kok)." sambungnya lagi.
Setelah Lowra pergi, Kokom menatap Bug dengan sebal. "Disturbing!
(ngaco) aja sih, Man. Is the language belong to your ancestor (Emang
itu bahasa punya moyang lu)?"
Bug masih ngeyel, "Just itchy, No. Because you speak English as
delicious as your belly button." (Gatel aja No. Soalnya kamu ngomong
Inggris sa'enak udelmu dewe).
Kokom cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, "His name is also effort (Namanya
juga usaha) ", "Weighting no speak (Timbangane gak ngomong)..."
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